Would you believe that the thought of parking my car at the hospital this morning made me cry!!!!
I turned up for work this morning to be asked to go sit at the hospital with one of the ladies I support. This itself is no problem as I got to chill out completely and not run around like an idiot (for a change) but parking my car was a problem. Work refuse to pay parking charges and told me to stick a note in my car saying where I was working. I've worked in enough hospitals to know that this can sometimes (but frequently does not) work. I tried asking where would be the best place for on street parking as I really don't know the roads well near the hospital, but I do know the parking on the main road is mainly for permit holders only. Anyway, blagged work into letting me come home first so I could pick up some lunch and a book and asked my folks where to park and told them work refused to pay parking charges and I was not risking putting a note in my car and then I burst into tears. They were controllable tears (just) but I felt like such an idiot. Parking had nothing to do with it. I've not slept properly for days not, I'm so tired, my headache will just not go away and any moment I have when I'm alone I just seem to want to cry. CAn't stop thinking about SD and how ignorant he's been and it's all getting a bit too much.
Did text my mum mid morning to tell her that it wasn't the parking that I was crying over but the fact I'm upset about SD ignoring me....... but I also text SD and asked him why he'd ignored me!!! Stupid, I know, as I won't get a response off him and I'll only feel worse.
whoknows
Oh God! Like you know, I'm kind of in the same boat, but for some reason I can compartmentalise really well, so my family and work don't realise I'm up all night and not eating (though in hydro today I had on a new cossie cause the old one don't fit any more and one of the carers said 'wow, that costume has loads of tummy control doesn't it?' It has none!). When my boss made me permanent I told her I'd been worried she'd think I was a stress monkey, and she said 'but you've NEVER brought it to your work', which was nice, and true cos I find work takes my mind off it.
On a more practical note, work are being unreasonable not to pay your expenses, but if they still refuse, you can claim it back off your tax - keep your receipts and fill in a tax form. Doesn't help for now, but will in the long run. The notes don't work where I am, but my work pay expenses. I love my work!
Know how you feel re texts too. I've stopped being the one to phone or text (apart from to return those he sends) because I've realised it gives them the power. And they have enough power already (hence our sleepless nights etc)! Good luck!